INTEND IT, BELIEVE IT, DO IT!

That's my new motto. Intend it, believe it, do it!

Amazing how much you can realize in one year, I mean my goodness... 11 months ago, I was still acting foolish and naive. Then, I started school and went over the whole routine again, and it's just struck me if this is all there is to it?! That's where the existential crisis came in. If you can't control it, why let it bother you? Bah! Everything is contradictory. Identity is a construct. I'm still the phase of finding myself.

As for classes, I am officially done. WINTER BREAK baby!!!!! It was bittersweet especially with my design classes, we were so chill, and easy going. I love creative homework. It gets your mind flowing, and also you can be proud of your work, creating something from nothing. Not mentioning it's all a learning process!

Our Graphic Design professor mentioned a quote from Bruce Lee regarding to style, when asked about what his style was, Bruce Lee answered: "...style is a crystallization. Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.

HOW INSPIRING IS THAT?! and it came from a martial art master! I like the fact that he said "style is a crystallization" because if you are into doing this one thing only... then you stop yourself from growing and learning, you crystalize your ability to reach forward. I could relate to it because it is the same for Art and Graphic Design, I know people want to be distinctive of a certain style this or that, but it all comes down to you knowing to do this and that, and not just what you are good at. Get the job done! Also I think it is a good guidance for living too, just be flexible and blend into different environment, that way you can survive longer.

When I was younger, it's easier to accept everything you are given. I did, I accepted a lot of things that I was giving without asking why. Now that I grow a bit older, I learned to think for myself and realize that we don't have to accept everything that we're given. There's always choices. It is not me to buy ticket to somewhere and not telling my parents/mom until the last minute, but it's doesn't really matter. I am just--- I don't know... getting used to living for myself you know?! comparing to the old me. It's sorta like... THIS IS NOT ME, BUT AT THE SAME TIME... THIS IS ME! lol. yeah... so it feels weird, an uneasiness because you step out of that comfort zone, at the same time.. you're kinda liking this new defiance because it gives you satisfaction.

On the last day of class, my Art History professor said that she hopes we learn to think for ourselves and what's beyond the images that the media present to us. She wants us to break it apart and interpret, don't let it win us over, and that way we won't easily give in.

So here's the dealio: I bought ticket to SF 4 months ago (because I had school and now I am on break!) but I did NOT tell my parents or anyone until this week. I am leaving TOMORROW (thursday) lol... I was so nervous that my mom would chop my head off, so I decided to tell both of my parents last night, so that way my mom wouldn't act crazy in front of step-dad. My mom rolled her eyes but she still said okay just go have fun and be careful. Aw I love you mama, even though you are traditional and closed-minded sometimes! as Madonna said: "the only thing you can depend on is your family."

I am excited that I got it over with, now I can enjoy my one week stay! Woo hoo! More art books and magazine! *drools* and eating and shopping and everything in between! (yum!)

Life is short. see? this year FLEW by so fast.
live it up, drink it down, soak it in, be thankful.