EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

I am sure this is one of the many times I will ponder these questions. It's hard to describe my feelings in words. I just feel like I've tried so hard to make things work out and do everything I can, and yet I sit here, and nothing's changed, same old bullshit.  I just feel so defeated and let down... you know that feeling like.. "goodness... gimme a break!"

I mean I just dont know what to do, or better yet I cannot do anything right now. Then I think about random stuff like existence and why people do this do that, why do we dream, why are we here, and then we learn to think, feel.. and pick sides... become bad or good. Or why do we work to make money and eat, then eventually die.

So it's like why should feel blah right now if it's all there is to it...  right there, the whole routine.  but again, it is NOT, so i go back to feeling frustrated. I think about how I'm going to be in the future.. how does it feel to be old.. or what happens after we die...

I don't get that either, are we just gone? and is there really Heaven and Hell?

like has anyone ever died and became a spirit and came back to describe how Hell is like.. what is UP with that?!?!  when you cut down the Earth you will see the earth's core not hell? LOL. it doesn't make sense to me?

This is why I live with lots of love to give because that is the only thing that makes sense to me, and the only thing closest to the truth.

I know things will be better soon, and this is just temporary
...like everything else. all temporary.



Utada Hikaru - Deep River

One of my favorite japanese songs. She writes all her own material. For this song, she also wrote a poem. This is the longer version of the music video with the poem. English subtitles included.