MOVE

Move

2.23.14

YOU'RE MY QUESTIONS. YOU'RE MY PROOF.

You're my questions. You're my proof.

6.2.13

HARD CANDY

Hard Candy

1.3.13

TODAY IS THE YOUNGEST WE WILL EVER BE

Today is the youngest we will ever be

12.26.12

RUN, BOY, RUN!

Run, Boy, Run!

7.16.12

DETACH AND DETOX

Detach and detox

3.17.12

It's been a while since I've wrote a text-heavy entry.

I'm going to try to keep it as short and sweet as possible. The last few months—even days, have been a whirlwind. Living here in NYC has been a wild ride to say the least. Met people, left people; created things, destroyed things; nourished dying relationships, reviving bonds that needed nourishments. It all broke my heart the best way possible; so broken that I can now can soak even more experience and feeling into those broken cracks.

I'm planning to leave New York soon possibly end of month. Just to take a little break; I sort of felt this coming on all along. I mean it's nice being here in the city but only if you have something to do right? I can't wait to go home and see my mom and sister and to relax a bit. Then perhaps a week in Los Angeles to be by the water and clear my mind. Maybe back to NYC afterwards? Who knows. But one thing I know is that there are alternative ways of living rather than the typical pattern: grow up, go to school, get married, have kids, etc. We can just be a wanderer and travel the world until we find a place to call home.

I'm slowly adopting a streamlined aesthetic, or rather a more refined lifestyle; one where I could pick up and leave the country tomorrow if I'd like. To be boundless, and not so rooted. Live light and compact. Reassess your possessions; let go of what you no longer need and keep the ones you do. I set up my eBay account here, check it to see what you can give a new loving home to. Detach and detox; that's the current theme in my life. Because when we have nothing left to lose, we are free to do anything. I think that's how it is being an immigrant child in America. You slowly let go of your language, your culture, and everything becomes... limitless

I feel new. I feel reborn, as if I have crossed the other side. I have so much talent and services to offer... and my services doesn't have to be in one place, it could be mobilized. If you like my work and have grown with me as a visual artist throughout the years, you know where to find me; my portfolio, or even this blog and we can definitely discuss creative business.

When we are so bounded by life's mundane routines, we will never truly be happy; hence the pursuit of happiness. I can't sit at a place all day waiting for happiness — matter of fact I don't think we'll ever achieve happiness, it could only be pursued. But in the process of pursuing happiness we get that rare chance of being happy.

So again, if you'd like to give some of my clothing pieces a new loving home (including the Harajuku Creepers in pink metalltic, and Versace for H&M shirt, a beautiful faux-fur down vest, and all the blazers I've worn a few times before), please visit my eBay listings! :)




Here, I leave you with a few quotes that really spark my train of thoughts lately in life:

“I want to taste and glory in each day, and never be afraid to experience pain; and never shut myself up in a numb core of non-feeling, or stop questioning and criticizing life and take the easy way out. To learn and think: to think and live; to live and learn: this always, with new insight, new understanding, and new love.”

— Sylvia Plath

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes: Awww!”

— Jack Kerouac

I really love this video and quotes because justifies my obsession with stars and astral bodies. Watch it in closed-caption or you can read the quote I put from the video underneath...

“The most astounding fact is the knowledge that the atoms that comprise life on Earth the atoms that make up the human body are traceable to the crucibles that cooked light elements into heavy elements in their core under extreme temperatures and pressures.

These stars, the high mass ones among them went unstable in their later years they collapsed and then exploded scattering their enriched guts across the galaxy guts made of carbon, nitrogen, oxygen and all the fundamental ingredients of life itself. These ingredients become part of gas cloud that condense, collapse, form the next generation of solar systems stars with orbiting planets, and those planets now have the ingredients for life itself.

So that when I look up at the night sky and I know that yes, we are part of this universe, we are in this universe, but perhaps more important than both of those facts is that the Universe is in us. When I reflect on that fact, I look up – many people feel small because they’re small and the Universe is big – but I feel big, because my atoms came from those stars. There’s a level of connectivity. That’s really what you want in life, you want to feel connected, you want to feel relevant you want to feel like a participant in the goings on of activities and events around you That’s precisely what we are, just by being alive.”

— The Most Astounding Fact
by Astrophysicist Dr. Neil DeGrasse Tyson




See you on the other side!
xQ

ON TO THE NEXT ONE!

On to the next one!

5.14.11

EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

I am sure this is one of the many times I will ponder these questions. It's hard to describe my feelings in words. I just feel like I've tried so hard to make things work out and do everything I can, and yet I sit here, and nothing's changed, same old bullshit.  I just feel so defeated and let down... you know that feeling like.. "goodness... gimme a break!"

I mean I just dont know what to do, or better yet I cannot do anything right now. Then I think about random stuff like existence and why people do this do that, why do we dream, why are we here, and then we learn to think, feel.. and pick sides... become bad or good. Or why do we work to make money and eat, then eventually die.

So it's like why should feel blah right now if it's all there is to it...  right there, the whole routine.  but again, it is NOT, so i go back to feeling frustrated. I think about how I'm going to be in the future.. how does it feel to be old.. or what happens after we die...

I don't get that either, are we just gone? and is there really Heaven and Hell?

like has anyone ever died and became a spirit and came back to describe how Hell is like.. what is UP with that?!?!  when you cut down the Earth you will see the earth's core not hell? LOL. it doesn't make sense to me?

This is why I live with lots of love to give because that is the only thing that makes sense to me, and the only thing closest to the truth.

I know things will be better soon, and this is just temporary
...like everything else. all temporary.



Utada Hikaru - Deep River

One of my favorite japanese songs. She writes all her own material. For this song, she also wrote a poem. This is the longer version of the music video with the poem. English subtitles included.